I turned 35 in June. Not a huge milestone like 30 or 40 is, but in the back of my mind, I started to panic.
All of our lives we are subtly told that 35 is a reproductive milestone, and not a good one.
We all know that fertility decreases as we age, and according to the majority of peer-reviewed studies, 35 is the age after which fertility tends to drop most rapidly. Because of this, when it comes to fertility treatments, patients over age 35 are treated much more aggressively than younger patients. Also, 35 is also listed as the age where chances of miscarriages and genetic abnormalities greatly increase.
Ty and myself have always been on the fence about having more kids. For me, I really wanted to get a little healthier before going through another pregnancy. I know I wasn’t in perfect shape when I had my last two, but I was a good 30lbs lighter. We also wanted to be settled in our new house & be in a situation where we knew we could financially manage a larger family.
But lately we have been discussing it more than ever. Between the age thing and my health issues, it’s now gone from a ‘maybe in the future’ discussion, to a ‘shit or get off the pot’ kind of thing.
I suffer from pretty bad anemia as a result of Menorrhagia. I have it somewhat under control by monitoring my diet and taking iron supplements, but I honestly can’t wait to not have my period anymore so it doesn’t control my life. My doctor has brought up several options to treat my Menorrhagia, most of which involved removing or affecting my uterus in a way that would make me infertile.
I’ve also recently discovered & been diagnosed with cysts in my breast, which to be honest was the biggest health scare of my life when I found the original lump. According to my doctor, breast cysts can be a strong indicator that I may also have PCOS (another infertility culprit) since that also runs in my family.
What else runs in my family? Early menopause.
So now we’re at a crossroads. Do we go for it, or are we happy as a family of four?
This is what our current pro/con list looks like:
We have two wonderful, smart, healthy kids. I’m pretty sure if we had another kid, it would be just as amazing as these two.
My kids LOVE babies and little kids. Tieran was awesome with Brynn as a baby, and completely dotes on his baby cousin.
I honestly loved being pregnant. I know some don’t like it at all, but it made me feel beautiful and strong.
We make freaking adorable babies.
I always wanted a larger family, at least 3 kids. Ty has two sisters, and I have a sister, and I know how awesome it is as an adult to have a sibling of the same gender.
If we have another baby, I could finally say we’re done and get the tubes tied while they’re in there.
Starting all over again sounds exhausting. Both the kids are potty trained and in school full time, and it is wonderful.
Our kids are so close in age that I’d be worried such a large age gap might be an issue.
The cost. I’ve literally gotten rid of all our baby stuff, so we’d be starting from scratch with the gear & clothes.
Dirty diapers & sleepless nights. Ugh.
Recovering from another c-section does not sound appealing.
What if there is a genetic abnormality or health issue?
I almost want to try for a few months and just see what happens, but I don’t think Ty is ready for that. Both times we got pregnant before, it happened right away, or by accident… sometimes what happens in Vegas comes home with you from the hospital 9 months later.
Ty seems to think it would be the same this time around and it would only take a month or two, but I have my doubts. I have no idea what my situation is fertility wise since I had our last baby almost 7 years ago. It could be a whole different ball game and this whole discussion might not even be necessary if infertility makes the decision for us, since we wouldn’t pursue fertility treatments
What do you think, should we go for it?
If you had to convince your partner to have another baby, how did you do it?